He is tall, slim, and perhaps slightly older than me. He gets on the train at a stop closer to the city than me, and works somewhere past the university (further down the bus line from the train station). No wedding band.
We'll skip the discussion of me being painfully shy in such situations (I had an idea to make eye contact once, but I just ended up looking at him and smiling, then looking away quickly and blushing when he looked back at me), and get to the real question at hand:
How does one (meaning me, if I can ever manage to sustain that whole eye-contact thing) strike up a conversation with a stranger on public transport?
In general Australians are more open and friendly than the average American. Walking along the street or in a park or the grocery store or whatever, it is easy to get friendly smiles and polite conversations from strangers. I have even had the rare short conversations (which I never initiated) with random people on crowded trains or trams. But, the overwhelming majority of the time on public transport, everyone becomes catatonic upon scanning their metcards, staring blankly out the windows or reading while listening to their headphones. It seems that the Public Transportation Zombie State crosses the Pacific.
Would walking up to him, introducing myself and seeing if he wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime be inappropriate**?
To him, at the moment, I am likely Mysterious Woman on My Train and Bus, but it is a short walk from that to a Wierd Lady Who Keeps Staring at Me.
Do I even want to risk becoming Odd Girl who Made an Unwelcome Pass?
Of course, there is a very timely horoscope to go with these thoughts (I tell you that Rob Brezny can be a damned fine oracle at times):
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Happy Valentine Daze, Aquarius! The English novelist Julia Pardoe expressed an idea that would be useful for you to integrate into your thoughts about love in 2006. "In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, a donkey, and a nightingale," she wrote. "Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity." Why is this important for you to contemplate? In the coming weeks, I believe, you will have an unprecedented chance to bring the tiger and nightingale aspects to the forefront of both your own heart and the hearts of those whose affections mean most to you.So, do I unleash the Tiger and talk to Mr. Train Man? I don't know yet.
I am trying to remember 2 things:
1. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
2. If I fail miserably, it'll only be a couple months of feeling awkward on the train, then I get to leave the country!
I'll keep you posted.
*intrigue, for me, is the stage of a male-female relations where I am attracted to the person, but not sure if I want to pursue him in a romantic manner
**Although I would prefer it if he initiated conversation with me. I don't believe in forcing so-called traditional gender roles on anyone or anything, but I would kinda like a guy to show me that I'm worth making an effort to talk to.
3 comments:
Show some cleavage. That should get him talkin' to ya.
Starting a conversation seems complicated at first (and I am really terrible at these things), but in principle it could be really simple. It can be anything.
"Did you hear the whigs won the election" and
"I cannot believe the bus is late again"
are just about equally good or bad places where to start. You can of course ask where he's taking the train every day, or just say
"Hi, I'm Hamstergrrl, nice to meet you."
Always remember: you are the intriguing foreigner with the accent ;)
Fede
ask directions to someplace new. or ask what there is to do on a weekend, especially if you see him reading a local listings sort of paper.
i've had people strike up conversation with me by asking what i'm listening to on my headphones (but, that's weird cause it's even more of an interruption).
i'd say, the blush and turn stare isn't a creepy stare at all. someday just nod at him as he gets on the bus... or as you get off so you can then quickly flee!
as my friend creampuff says, you should let him persue, but you should let him know he's welcome.
i don't like all that sex role crap too much either, but 1) you and i need men who are strong enough to at least make the first move and 2)'studies show': relationships where women make the first move don't generally last as long as the other way around.
but, you're in australia, everything is upside down there!
:-)
keep us updated.
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