groceries and a nightmare

I was at the store today and saw one of the chefs dressed in his chef coat and chef hat, pushing a shopping cart containing a big cardboard box that had the words "CHEFS HATS" printed on it. It struck me as very absurd and made me laugh out loud at the grocery store.

Also, this morning I had the most revolting dream while I was hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock*.

I must warn you, it's vile.
If you have a thing like a phobia about bugs, don' t read this.
If you are eating right now, don't read this.
If you hate hearing about people's dreams in general, don't read this.

OK, you have been warned.

I dreamt that I was at the beach with some friends, we were laughing and enjoying the ocean, boogie boarding and surfing and such, and then it was time to get out. I started swimming for shore, and then got to the end of the ocean, which was surprisingly tiled like the edge of a swimming pool. I was trying to hoist myself out of the water next to a couple who were starting to make out. I was attempting to get out and not disturb them but I accidentally bumped the guy and disturbed their, ahem, activities. At first they were irritated (as expected) and then they noticed some small bumps on my arm.

"Oh, you swam through sea spiders" she said and pointed to my arm. I looked and there were three little bumps on my wrist, that kind of looked like fire ant bites after they pop.

The woman grabbed my wrist and then sucked on the bites. I was disconcerted that a complete stranger was sucking some bug bites on my arm, but that was only the beginning. After she sucked on the bites for a few seconds, she stopped and then spit out the TINY BUGS that were INSIDE the bite on my skin. (UGH!!).

She then told me that I would need to suck the rest of the bugs out of the other bites that were on my other arm because they could grow there and be dangerous.

I warned you that it would be gross. But anyway,

I thanked the lady for telling me about the sea spiders and then noticed that there were some stairs out of the ocean so I could get out of the water easier than hoisting myself up and out over the pool ledge. I went to the beach house with my friends and while they all took naps I attended to my bug bites.

By this time the bugs were bigger and I was squeezing little centipede like creatures out of the bites. I found one large bite that had about 10 creatures in it, and they flew out of the bite on one arm and onto my other arm, where they magically grew into inch long centipede-y creatures that started trying to BORE INTO MY ARM!!!! I had to keep these centipedes from rearing up and boring their heads into my skin, being careful to get their head out so it wouldn't go into my arm and get lost in circulation. Also, if I accidentally took the head off of a centipede before it bit me, the next segment would automatically become the new head. I kept peeling the bugs off of me and throwing them in the sink, trying to be very quiet because my friends were napping.

I woke up completely grossed out about the idea of BUGS UNDER MY SKIN! YUCK!

Sorry, but if anything deserves unabashed use of capslock BUGS UNDER SKIN sure does.

*shudders*

I went to sleep worrying about not doing enough work this weekend and enjoying myself too much. So I suppose my dream punishment for hanging out at the dream beach with dream freinds was bugs under my skin.

The internet tells me that insects and spiders in dreams symbolize worry, so perhaps my worried thoughts when going to sleep started it.

Also I had just read the story in the Onion about a caterpillar on a rampage. My bugs looked an awful lot like a hairless, flesh-eating caterpillars. I'm just sayin.

Well, I hope your days and nights have not been filled with flesh eating bugs.

Sweet dreams.

*for the, like, 10th time