It seems like I just got here yesterday, but it's already time to go back to the U.S.
Everything is packed and I am once again astonished at the amount of stuff I manage to drag around with me all over the world. *crossing fingers that my bags are not over the weight limit* I just have to get dressed and head to the airport.
I still have heaps of stories to tell about Oz, but they will just have to wait until I'm stateside again.
Think happy traveling thoughts for me! Summertime, here I come!
When I got to Melbourne, I noticed something new on the banks of the Yarra.
It's the Giant Sky Wheel, the largest movable ferris wheel in the Southern hemisphere!! Woo hoo!!!
Every time I see this thing at night, I am mesmerized by all the 300,000 LED light glory! It's hypnotic, I will stand and watch it for minutes on end. The light patterns change enough to make it interesting, and yet somewhat relaxing and comforting.
Of course I had to film it. I think the best bits are at 1:00 and around 2:20. But I like to just watch the whole film and think happy thoughts.
I decided that it would be best to ride the Giant Sky Wheel during the day, in order to get the best views of the city, and it totally paid off.
It turns out that the GSW leaves town on the same day I do! That would be kind of cool to be on the same plane as the Giant Sky Wheel. Although, I wouldn't want to sit next to it. Sure, it would have some interesting stories, but, dude, you know I'd never get that armrest.
Not surprisingly, Australians don't celebrate the Fourth, but I decided that I wanted to do something for the holiday.
My first challenge, though, was fireworks. They aren't legal here, so it is not like there are stands anywhere to get them. I thought about going to chinatown or a party place where I could at least find some sparklers. Luckily, my landlady had some from Japan that she was happy to let me use!
I have no idea what the package says, but I want to think it says Happy Fun Fire Sticks! For Kids! My landlady has had them for years, and was not sure if they would still work, but I was grateful to have any bright things that were accompanied by the risk of severe burns. I mean, if I am not worried about me or anyone I know losing a finger or two, it's just not the 4th of July.
So, I was prepared to celebrate! The morning of the Fourth, I woke up to lots of rain:
I was worried that the dreary winter weather would prevent me from trying out the fireworks, but luckily as the day went on, the weather cleared.
I came home, opened the fireworks and looked at the instructions provided with the sparklers to see if there was any helpful information:
wine and bare feet optional
I found some matches, and, after a couple of tries, got the sparklers to light and it was like I was back in the good ol' U.S. of A.!! Since it took a couple of tries to light each one with a match, I decided to set up a display so I could wow the dog and cat (landlady and daughter are off skiing this week, so I was celebrating my nation's independence on my own this year) with my mad pyrotechnic skills.
I also wondered if there was still a total fire ban because of the drought and if my neighbours were going to call the fire brigade on me.
So weak, in fact, that if I had exchanged all of my money when I first got here at the beginning of May, I could probably have sold back my Australian Dollars when I got back to the US and made a profit.
I'm already a poor grad student, I was hoping to get some good deals shopping while I was here, but alas, the exchange rate is actually not really in my favor anymore. Yes, one U.S. dollar is worth more than a Australian Dollar, but they charge a little more for things here, so it really ends up being about even now.
I know you have been excited as I have about the progress of my clay monkeys.
They were fired and came out with all their arms attached! Yay!
Next I put on a couple of coats of glaze. I decided to do the faces midnight blue, and then each of their bodies a different color:
From L to R: Hot Orange, Brick Red, Honey Flame
I was most excited about how the blue faces would turn out, and what the the hot orange would look like. With the way people described the hot orange, I was worried it would be fluorescent. They were put in the kiln to fire the glaze and I waited anxiously to see the result.
L to R: Honey Flame, Brick Red, Hot Orange
Viola!!
Aren't they just so hideous that you have to love them? I think that the Honey Flame and Hot Orange turned out the best. I think the brick read just looks like I put a clear glaze on the clay. No matter, I love them. I hollowed them out the best I could so they would not add too much weight to my luggage.
My next project was making some pie weights, they come out of the kiln on Thursday, glazed and everything! We'll see how they turn out!
On my way home today, I had to stop for a booze bus.
Booze buses are actual buses (you can see one here) that are set up randomly on the roads, including the freeway, where every driver, EVERY driver must breathe into a breathalyser. The one that I drove through today was on a 8-lane road. They had the 4 lanes going in my direction funnel into one and then about 8 cops were lined up with breathalysers, testing 8 cars at a time.
It took me about 30 seconds, and of course I hadn't had anything to drink. The legal limit here is 0.05, which I think I would have after only one glass of wine, so I don't drink at all here when I am going to be driving anywhere.
I was a little disappointed, though, because now there is a new double bus campaign. So, every booze bus is a drugs bus, and they can make every driver take a portable drug test (tests for THC, ecstasy, and methamphetamine). I hadn't been doing any drugs either today, so I was hoping I could take the random drug test just for funsies. Turns out, though, that the drug test takes about 5 minutes to do, so they don't give them to every driver. Drat.
Now, while I gladly stop for the booze bus and completely understand the reasons behind the practice, it is something that really, really makes me aware of my American-ness. The whole thing rubs me the wrong way. I feel like it is a violation of my rights to be made to take a breathalyzer test and/or a random drug test without probable cause. Now, I don't think I have a right to drive under the influence, but I think that I shouldn't feel like I could be pulled over and tested at anytime when I am sober. I know that there are random sobriety tests in the U.S., but I have never seen one where every driver is made to blow into a breathalyzer. And random drug tests? forget about it!
It's a strange issue for me to think about and write about. I mean, I see how it is a great idea for improving public safety and reducing accidents on the road. I don't think taking the 30 seconds out of my drive home to breathe into a tube is a big deal either. The only people that would be affected are drunk drivers, who shouldn't be on the road anyway.
I just don't think that instituting this type of program in the United States would happen without a big fight.
There is a fast food chain here in Australia called Nando's. It's a place that sells Portuguese-style flame grilled chicken, called peri peri. It's kind of like El Pollo Loco in the states, except not a Tex-mex flavor, but a Portuguese flavor, if that makes sense.
Anyway, that's just background so you know what this ad is for. This ad runs during prime time on regular network TV, at the movie theatre before the film starts, at any time of the day or night. The first time I saw it I had to do a double take. Because I doubt it would ever make it to air in America.
I had been wondering how people tip strippers in a country that does not have one or two dollar notes. I suppose people just aren't cheapskates in strip clubs here.
I think that's probably a good thing. Regardless of whether you like the fact that strip club exist or not, they do, and women who work in them do not always make tons and tons of money like people believe. They often have to pay the club owner for their time on stage, they get no health benefits/insurance, and it's a physically demanding job.
I didn't realize how physically demanding it could be until I started taking a pole dancing class.
Yep, that's right. I said it. A pole dancing class.
And no, I am not going to put on a show when I get back.
I didn't do it for the bullshit reasons that the studio and the current Pussycat doll "empowerment" movement would suggest. The idea that acting like a porn star or stripper is empowering to women is completely ridiculous!! Being a stripper is not about feeling sexy or exerting power over men or owning one's sexuality. It's about being able to pay the rent. It's fake.
I took the pole dancing class because I think it looks damn hard to swing around on a pole, but also a bit fun, like the trapeze!
The first class I took was a mix of the classes offered at the studio (Poledivas, in case you are wondering), which was pole work and lap dancing. Many of the moves were similar to what I have been doing for years in my belly dancing classes, only much more exaggerated and a bit cruder. There is a certain subtlety that is involved with the hip movements in belly dance, almost more of a sophistication in the seductiveness.
The instructor was friendly, and rarely have I been in a group excercise class where I hear the following instructions: -touch your bosoms -get your cookie against the pole, but don't smash it against the pole -don't step on the penis!!
It was fun, but holy crap that pole *kicked* my ass! I always knew I was weak, but this class really proved it to me. It was hard as hell to get up on the pole and I kept hitting my foot, so by the end of class I had this nice bruised lump:
I suppose it could have been worse. I could have bruised my cookie.
The class didn't make me feel sexier or more womanly. If anything, it made me feel clumsy and fat. I am not good at it, and so it made me want to get better. I decided to take the pole-fit class, which is more of a strength building class than a shake your money-maker class.
And, again, NO, I am not going to put on a show when I get back.
My laptop charger died today. Just died. No real warning, no real reason I can think of. It wasn't the socket, it wasn't the plug adapter, it wasn't the cord that goes from the socket to the charger, it was the charger. At least it waited until AFTER I gave a presentation this morning.
My first thought was "my laptop is my life, I cannot get any work done nor can I find any useful information or live in any satisfactory way if I do not have my laptop. I must replace this cord right now and I don't care how much it costs."
My second though was "well, no, I do care how much it costs. Hopefully it won't be that expensive. I mean, it's not like I am replacing a battery or anything. Are any shops even open at this hour?"
Luckily it's Friday, so it's a late night shopping day (most days all shops close at 5pm here, except for Thursday and Friday, when they are open until 9pm), and that I discovered the problem at 8:30pm. A couple of minutes and AU$100 later, and I have power!!! Granted I also now need to get a plug adapter so I can use the cord when I get back to the U.S., but that's like 3 bucks, I think I can manage that.
I am trying to figure out when I became a slave to my technology. Specifically, my laptop and my cell phone. When I got to this country, I didn't have a cell phone for about a week, and it was killing me. I didn't have anyone to call, nor anyone that needed to call me regularly, but I HAD to have a phone.
And, today, the idea of not being able to use my laptop was just unacceptable.
I'd rather live without a car than without my laptop. Isn't that crazy? Isn't it also a little sad?
Luckily, this little lady reminded me that there were far more important issues than my potential power loss. Apparently there was no one in the whole wide world giving her any attention right this second!
What kind of world lets this happen? It's a madhouse!! A MADHOUSE!!!!
I blame the Bush Administration.
I realize that I only have 17 days left of time in Australia, and I have heaps of stories I haven't shared yet. So my goal is to post at least 1 entry per day from now until I leave. I plan on using the hell out of my snazzy new power cord.
I've noticed that there are many billboards, television, and radio commercials here in Melbourne targeted toward men to improve their sexual prowess (usually by improving their, ahem, staying power). So all day long at work, commercials for treatment of erectile dysfunction play over and over and over again.
One day a coworker asked, "Do you have this many commercials for improving erections in America?"
"No, not really," I replied. "I think it's because we are a bit prudish and don't talk about such things that openly. But hearing all these commercials here kinda makes me worry about my dream of finding an Australian husband."
When I am in Australia (or really anywhere, for that matter), I try new things.
One of my most recent adventures has been taking a pottery class. My amazing Japanese landlady does some pottery, and the kitchen is full of gorgeous dishes that she has made herself.
Recently her pottery teacher started working from a new studio and so I decided to get my hands dirty!
Apparently work on the wheel is much more difficult and less sexy than the movie Ghost made it look, so I had to start with basic clay skills, and my first project was making some monkeys!
Stage 1: 3 pieces of clay = 3 potential monkeys
Stage 2: After adding a face bump, some Elvis hair, and lambchops we reached The Oompa Loompa stage:
Stage 3: I drew some faces on them, and then added some stinkin' paws!!
As you can see, Monkey #1, or as I like to call him, Stubby, is absolutely shocked at my mad clay skills. Check it!
At this point the teacher told me that my tallest monkey had arms that were too scrawny and would likely fall off when fired in the kiln. Even though I thought that would be funny as hell, I decided that it would be preferable to have all the monkeys survive their time at several hundred degrees Celsius. So, I had to perform some arm replacement. I probably shouldn't have let the other two watch the procedure. They did not seem to0 happy with the scene:
But I rebuilt him, and made him better with the strong arms my teacher made for me. Next, I added some lines to shape legs, and a stubby tail. Then I hollowed them out as much as possible and put them on the shelf to be fired!
The coolest thing about the pottery studio is that it is next door to a meeting place for Sudanese refugees. And, on Thursday nights when I do pottery, they gather next door and play music. I don't know what they are singing, but it sounds joyous, the men sing a few lines and then the women respond. It sounds like there are some djembe drums, a drum kit, and a keyboard or synthesizer. It's truly amazing.
On Saturday, I went to the free public talk he held at a footy oval in the city. It was a beautiful sunny day, and the talk was amazing. It was so simple, and yet very profound. The theme was universal responsibility, he talked about how the problems of the world are the problems of everyone in the world, and we all need to work together to make the world a better place. But, he said it in a more, you know, Nobel-Peace-Prize-winning sort of way.
There has been much news about this visit, since both the current prime minister and his leading opponent in the upcoming elections have not met with the Dalai Lama. Both have been "checking their schedules" to see if they can fit him in, but everyone pretty much knows that it is just posturing. The news here says that the Chinese government is pressuring the government leaders not to meet with His Holiness. It is strange how threatening this big government finds a man who teaches kindness and compassion.
In order to get some semblance of a real life back, I have started a Tuesday evening tradition.
In Melbourne, Tuesday nights are commonly called "tight arse Tuesdays". Many places have special discounted rates and tickets to encourage people to come out during the week. So, I decided that every Tuesday I am going to the cinema, since the tickets are a low price of $9 ($7.53 US). I also get a small popcorn and a large drink for $12.10 ($10.13 US). Each week, I am reminded that I could get a large popcorn and large drink for $12, but I think I can front the extra dime for having the size popcorn that I can actually eat.
Movies here are slightly different and a little wierd because many theatres have assigned seats. If the movie is not crowded (like today when I saw 28 Weeks Later with only one other person in the theatre, spooky!), then you don't have to keep your assigned seat. If the movie is very popular, then you have to sit in your proper place.
Also, they don't have the extra butter for the popcorn. The first time I asked for popcorn with extra butter, the woman told me that it came butter flavoured. When I said, "yeah, but can I get extra?" she looked at me like I had 3 heads and I realized why Americans are so fat.
But movies are not the only thing that are discounted on Tuesdays. Tuesday is also the day that petrol (gasoline) is the cheapest all week! So after I see my early evening movie, I go to the petrol station and queue up for the discounted rate!
Yes! It IS just as exciting as it looks!
This week's lineup was for petrol at the low price of $1.23/ litre, which is the lowest I have seen in the past several weeks. This works out to US$1.03/ liter, which in turn works out to about US$3.90/gallon.
And, just when I was at the front of the line, one of the pumps ran dry.
I was lucky that there was still another pump left and that I was still able to fill my tank because tomorrow it will probably be at least 5 cents more/litre, or US$0.15/gal more. I'll definitely remember this experience when I return to America and hear people complain about gas prices.
My current project, my final project in Australia for my Ph.D., also happened to be the most difficult thing I have ever done. It was a logistics nightmare, and fraught with unexpected challenges.
But now, it's all over but the shouting! And today, today! I got to do several things that I haven't been able to do in what seems like forever:
1) I woke up when it was light outside, it was so weird not having to set my alarm for 4:30 or 5 in the morning. 2) go to the grocery store and get proper groceries 3) cook my own dinner 4) relax 5) write a fricking blog entry!
Ah, I am so glad it's done. I have learned alot, ALOT, and I am sure that I will look back on this experience as a time of great professional growth and development as a scientist. But right now, all I can say is fuck, I am glad it's over.
I have many emails and blogs to catch up on, but I will now be posting with more regularity. JayAre, I haven't forgotten about your questions, I promise they will be my next entry.
Now I am going to go to sleep and not set an alarm. Squee!!
It's been a week since I arrived here in Australia. It's been a busy week, getting settled and things organized with my life here. Half the time I feel like I never left and I completely and utterly belong here, but the other half of the time I feel like a bumbling, awkward idiot who can't seem to say or do the right thing. But, at least I'm a bumbling awkward idiot in Australia.
But, I think the worst of it is starting to clear, or at least I am starting to feel like I am keeping my head above the water. Things are starting to fall into place with my current project, and by the end of the week it will all be sorted out. There is still much, much more to be done, but it's a start.
It was an eventful trip, and I plan to regale you all with glorious tales of my 15 hour flight from LA to Melbourne, but first I'll share what happened when I went through security at LAX.
Background: I had just finished the 6 hour flight from Philly. I got 2 hours of sleep the night before. Earlier that day I finished moving out of my apartment, which I stupidly decided to do by myself, so it took me MUCH longer than I thought it would and consequently I didn't finish as much school work as I wanted to before I left. By the time I arrived at LAX I was worrying about the work I didn't complete, processing the short goodbye I had with my apartment, hungry, and tired.
I was not a happy person when I got to the international terminal of LAX. I was even more unhappy when I went through security the first time and realized that there were no decent places to get any sort of real food once you passed through security. There were NO restaurants near the gates. The logic behind this airport design eludes me. Seriously, LAX, what the fuck?
So, anyway, I go through security, and then back out again to a restaurant so I can get my blood sugar back to the level of a living human being. I ate and was feeling marginally better when I went back to the security line. When I got to the ID checkpoint, I handed my passport to the security guy, he looked at it, and then at me, and he said, "Where are your wings?"
"Excuse me?" I said, not understanding what he said.
"Where are your wings?" He repeated.
"What?" I said, now worrying that there is some new form I needed with my visa or something.
"Your wings," he replied, "With that smile, you must be an angel."
Cheesy, yes. And I am sure that he says that to many a weary lady traveler, but it was exactly what I needed to snap me out of my sleep-deprived stress-induced funk.
After several hours in airports and 20+ hours in the air, I made it back to Melbourne yesterday morning. The day was spent getting unpacked and settled then going outside into the beautiful sunshine and trying to stay awake for the rest of the day so I wouldn't get my sleep more screwed up than it usually is.
Now it's morning and work starts today. I must get up an be on the go, but I will report more soon.
