Today was the last day the swimming pool in my apartment complex was open. I went for one last chilly swim, and later drove past to see all of the deck chairs stacked upon one another, waiting to be moved into storage until next year.
It's over. Again.
I can smell it in the air.
Winter is coming. Or, er, I suppose here in the Northeast is called autumn". But, since I was born and raised in Las Vegas, when the temperature starts flirting with the 50s (which is what the average temp is in Vegas in December), I think 'winter'.
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On a different topic, I'm stressed out.
About nothing, and everything. I think. I don't particularly feel stressed, but I'm not sleeping lately. I'm worrying about money, graduating, my weight, how messy my apartment is, my teeth, being single, getting older. Not quite all at once, but it's all there, in the back of my head, just festering, all the time. There's no one big thing bugging me, just lots of little things swirling about.
And the worst part? The worst part is that I know I have control over every single thing that is worrying me. All I have to do is budget, start writing my dissertation, exercise, clean rooms, go to the dentist, get out an meet people, get older. Also not quite all at once, but everything that worries me can only be "fixed" by, yep, you guessed it, me. Yet I haven't done any of those things. I got too comfortable with the status quo, and now I have to get ready to change it all. It's fantastic and scary and needs to be done, but I'd rather just play on the internet and watch TV.
Therefore, I'm not sleeping.
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